Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Burnt Offerings, AB:VH Book 7

Did you get your copy of Hit List yet? Are you ecstatic? I haven’t gotten a copy because I am vehemently opposed to giving LKH my money. But here’s a refresher for the heinous shit that precedes it, just in case you’ve forgotten (really though, how could you?).

As ever, we begin with Anita in her office, being offered a job that has nothing to do with her status as a necromancer or even really as a “monster expert” (do you hate that phrase? I fucking hate that phrase). The St. Louis FD thinks there is a pyrokinetic person setting fires in the city and want them stopped before someone dies. Anita is not actually an expert with psychic gifts, but they think she can help anyway. (We won’t come back to this until the mystery is miraculously resolved with a 2-paragraph sequence in the last 3% of the book. Did I ruin the suspense? Sorry.)

Richard is all sad-face and is ignoring his responsibilities as Alpha of his pack because Anita thinks he’s gross. Some stuff happens that doesn’t matter resulting with Anita becoming responsible for some of Richard’s werewolves and Gabriel’s wereleopards (Gabriel was in the last couple of books, he was a total shit, now he’s dead). Anita tells the wolves and the leopards that she is going to protect them because she’s awesome and also, she has a big gun.

Whilst out on a date, Anita and Jean-Claude find out that the Vampire Council is in town and that they are pissed because they think Jean-Claude is trying to set up a rival faction in the U.S. Also, that Jean-Claude killed Mr. Oliver and has not taken his place as a member of the Council. The VC takes over the Circus of the Damned and hold Jean-Claude’s vampires and wolves hostage.

Let’s meet the Vampire Council:

The Traveler: He can use another vampire’s body like a puppet

Padma, known as the Master of Beasts: He can control another vampire’s animal to call

Fernando: Padma’s son; he is seriously a sociopath, likes to rape women (he is not actually part of the Council)

Morte D’Amour: He can make his body appear to decompose; couldn’t be buggered to come in person and is represented by

Yvette: She can also make her body rot and

Warrick: He is a trained warrior (who can walk in the daylight, but this is kept sooper sekret from all of the other vampires)

Belle Morte: She can make lust overwhelm you (pay attention, that bit is basically the premise for every book after #9); also couldn’t be buggered to come and is represented by

Asher: He doesn’t reveal any special powers yet. He used to be pretty but got scarred with holy water by some priests during the Inquisition. Jean-Claude was once part of a threesome with Asher and his human servant but Asher, thinking Jean-Claude betrayed them, is looking for revenge.

(There are a couple more high-muckety-mucks, but since they don’t make an appearance in his book, we’ll leave them out, shall we?)

Do you care about any of that? No? Excellent, moving on.

Anita beats her chest at the VC, the Traveler decides he likes her, Padma and Yvette decide they hate her, and Asher wants her but still hates Jean-Claude. Fernando rapes one of Richard’s pack and Anita promises revenge (there is a lot of rape in this particular book, I don’t mean to sound callous about it). Blah, blah, blah, end scene.

There is an aside where Anita uses the power of the wolf pack to channel Raina (thought she was gone, did you? Oh, no, she makes several appearances in the following books, despite having been cannibalized by her pack) to heal Nathaniel (one of the wereleopards, get used to hearing about him) even though she is in no way, shape or form a shifter (get used to that too). Also, there is an awful lot of Richard angsting at Anita about not being able to love him and Anita angsting at herself about the same. I am already tired of this particular storyline and it’s only come into play during this book.

The presence of the Council in STL makes the lesser vampires in the city lose their shit, Anita has to go clean up the mess, and she has Jean-Claude make a bargain to let the vampires and shifters being held hostage at Circus of the Damned free. Anita and Jean-Claude take Richard with them when they go to free the hostages, there is a big show-down, Padma lets Anita kill Fernando in exchange for his own life, Yvette reveals that Morte D’Amour wants the vampires to return to the old ways (i.e. no more legal citizenship) and has been egging Warrick into setting fires (with his brain! Mystery solved!) to scare humans into revoking the legal protections that U.S. vampires now have. Warrick sees the error of his ways and kills Yvette and himself in a final (literal) blaze of glory. Asher joins up with Anita and Jean-Claude (because Anita thinks he’s pretty despite his scars) and we are treated to a soliloquy wherein Anita yaks about trying to be friendly with Richard, learning how to control her new powers (she has discovered at least two), fucking Jean-Claude in a bathtub (again!) and gaining some new insight about herself (that she won’t ever actually put to use). The End!

You’re welcome.

If you want recaps of the previous books see here:

Guilty Pleasures, The Laughing Corpse, Circus of the Damned, The Lunatic Café, Bloody Bones, and The Killing Dance

Burnt Offerings, Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter, Book 7

No comments:

Post a Comment