I read this, and other things.

So! I’ve read some books in the past, what … 6 months. Eight months? My laziness actually extends to the point that I don’t even want to check. But I have read books, and I will talk about them in a minute, swearsies.

I am planning on overhauling this extension of a bloated ego … I mean, blog … in the somewhat near future. I realized at some point during my extended sabbatical from book reviews that I was on an extended sabbatical from book reviews because I suck at writing them. When I suck at writing something, I tend to not do it (obv!). And while I still love the concept of tearing apart Laurell K Hamilton in a public forum (MORE PEOPLE SHOULD DO THIS), it has been a long enough time since I read those horrific books that the idea of going back to them and destroying them in minute detail feels more daunting than enjoyable. Like, who am I punishing here? Ah yes. Myself. The whole situation is completely sideways.  I have already suffered by reading them. The pleasure I would get from shitting all over them would not outweigh the torture of having to go through them a second time. You see what I’m saying.

Jae, however, is really good at book reviews! So she will totally still do that as much as she wants to. The concept for the new blog is more esoteric than book reviews. It’s more just another Shit We Dig kind of premise, which is not original, and I don’t care. My schedule is relentless through the end of March, so I don’t think I’ll make any real progress on the revamp until after graduation (WHAT.) But I’m looking forward to messing with it and you know, just an FYI, the winds of change are blowing, et cetera.

Those books I read! These are absolutely in no discernible order. Check it:

ReadyPlayer One (Ernest Cline) – I could have sworn Jae already reviewed this, but I guess not? She definitely told me to read it. And I did, after, whatever, 19 weeks of thinking about it. YOU GUYS. I’m a doucebag. This book is fucking amazing. Why haven’t you read it yet? Do I need to harangue you for 19 weeks? I will absolutely do that. It’s about this dude who lives in the future, and shit is bleak. There’s a total immersion virtual utopia called OASIS (shades of the metaverse, which I kept thinking, until the metaverse was actually referenced in the book and I’m like WELL PLAYED, SIR) where said dude spends 90% of his time, because real life sucks and the planet is dying and he lives in a van (kind of) not even down by a river.  A Steve Jobs-type dude [the one who invented the OASIS] kicks it and leaves his entire fortune up for grabs to whomever can solve an elaborate easter egg hunt inside the OASIS. There are like forty million 80s pop culture references, which you will enjoy the fuck out of if you have even a tiny shred of nostalgia/love for the 80s. Honestly, read this book. It is one of the best ones I’ve picked up in years.

TheNight Circus (Erin Morgenstern) – For once, there is actually a good reason for a book to be on the best seller lists. Jae already reviewed this. I agree with all of it. It’s been a long time since a book actively made me wish its reality was my own. I want to be a reveur so bad. And dude! This book made me so hungry. The descriptions of food were absolutely RIDIC. I think I’m going to dedicate a day to actually trying to make some of the things described in this book. Chocolate mice! Black & white popcorn! Oh god.

11/22/63:A Novel (Steven King) – I picked this up with some serious misgivings. I hated Under The Dome [which I heard is getting a mini-series, and ugh SHUT UP] and I felt like this was going to be another 4000 pages of unnecessary brutality and 15 page character portraits for people I don’t give a shit about. However! I was pleasantly surprised. A dude discovers a time portal in the pantry of a diner (LIKE YOU DO) and every time he walks through it, it is 11 o’clock in the morning on September 2, 1958. Every time he walks through, time resets. The cook who owns the diner has bought and served the same 10lbs of meat like 500 times. Right, I know, WTF. Anyway, the premise of the story is that the dude (Jake) is going to go through the portal and live in the past, working his way up to stopping the execution of JFK in 1963. There are the requisite million nuances of time travel, and the butterfly effect, and all sorts of wacky/weird shit you get with this classic scifi trope. The book is really, really well written. The characters are, you know, fine – standard Stephen King “Good People” and “Bad People.” The pacing is spot on. It’s a pretty hefty book but I breezed through it in like a week. Definitely check this one out – it’s probably his best one in at least the past 10 years.

DarkEarth (Jason Halstead) – This is still free for Kindle, so if you want to pick it up, you should get cracking. This one was? Weird? Kinda? I didn’t really know what it was about when I started reading it, and it starts off as a sort of Lifetime movie-ish yarn about a single dad and his teenage daughter living an uncomplicated life in the Great Lakes area woods. At some point it turns into a fantasy novel with witches and werewolves and dragons and parallel universes. I mean, all of those things are fine, but the way they were introduced was bizarre. The dad basically walks around the whole book going “This is CRAZY” and you’d think after you’d slain your 8^th ogre, maybe you’d lose the skepticism. It ends really abruptly, but I think there are more books in the series. I did buy the second one, but never got to reading it. It’s not the worst thing that’s ever happened to me, and it’s free, so why not, give it a go.

TheWorld On Blood (Jonathon Nasaw)[reread] – I’ve been compelled to reread this book twice a year since it came out and a friend gave me a copy in the 6^th floor girls bathroom of Brooklyn Technical High School in 1997. This book manages to be completely amazing while somehow not having one shred of literary significance. It’s total trash. It’s absolutely a product of the early 90s. It’s about vampires who are not like Dracula vampires, just dudes & dudettes whose bodies process human blood like a drug (think equal parts booze, ecstasy, and PCP). There are blood orgies like every fourth page. Yes. Amazing.

I also read: The Big Book Of Death [graphic novel], the Big Book Of The Weird, Wild West [graphic novel], the first three books in the Dexter series [skip these, seriously, the show is way better], and probably like five more things that I can’t remember.

I read this (Oct 16-31 2011)

Here's the rest of October, because I know you were waiting with bated breath (no, it isn't baited, that's dumb).


Fantasy/Urban Fantasy

Wolf Moon by Charles de Lint: I am ambivalent about this. That is all I have to say.

Sunshine by Robin McKinley: Buffy-esque, which is a good thing, but the lady-protagonist was kind of annoying? And I didn't understand anyone's motivations. I think it needs a second book, I didn't really like the ending.

Dead on the Delta by Stacey Jay: Not everyone's cup of tea, but I liked it a lot.

Young Adult

Vanish by Sophie Jordan (Firelight, Book 2): I really disliked Firelight and I think I may have disliked this more. And goddamnit, yet another cliffhanger.

Romance

Jinxed by Inez Kelley: More erotica than romance but with more interaction between the characters outside of a bed (or wherever). The dude-pro gets a little creepy sometimes, but it was a fun read over-all. Nothing to write home about but not a regretful waste of time.

Pleasure for Pleasure by Eloisa James (The Essex Sisters, Book 4): My favorite of the series because Josie is sarcastically funny and Mayne sounds super-hot and I enjoy a love-by-surprise plot. The end is a little weak (as in cutesy) but it's still lots of fun.

Prince of Midnight by Laura Kinsale: I love this book. I especially enjoy how the dude-pro is the one who falls easily in love and the lady-pro is the one who is resistant and spends most of the book denying her twue-wuv.

Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas (The Wallflowers, Book 3): I can never decide if I love this one or Scandal in Spring more. If you like Lisa Kleypas, this series is a good one.

Girl From Mars by Julie Cohen: Yes, yes, yes.

Secret Fire by Johanna Lindsey: I'm just going to have to admit that I am probably going to read everything she's ever written. Lindsey's books aren't really good at all but I can't seem to stop myself.

Lord of Scoundrels by Loretta Chase: Mmphh, yes.

The Gunslinger's Untamed Bride by Stacey Kane (Brides, Book 2): Oh westerns, I secretly (not-so-secretly now) love you.

Kissing Comfort by Jo Goodman: I liked this a lot, but I'm not really sure why. The first 1/2 of the book is slow. The latter half is where pretty much all of the romance happens and it wasn't totally convincing but I pretty much spent the whole time sighing wistfully. Also, Comfort's relationship with her uncles was pretty awesome. I'm not going to dissect it.

Delicious by Sherry Thomas: Meh, I really liked Not Quite a Husband, but I thought the writing here was not nearly as good and the characters were kind of boring. Also, food porn is not really my thing. I'll try another by her because I hope this one was just a fluke.

I read this (Oct 1-15, 2011)

Fantasy

The Soul Mirror by Carol Berg (The Collegia Magica, Book 2): Um, a really good book, but it was a job to read. It was too...something. I had the same issue with the first book. If you prefer fantasy that's more cerebral then you'll probably like this.

Contemporary Fiction

Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese: I enjoyed it quite a bit but it was so long that I was practically dancing when it was over.  

Romance

An Offer From a Gentleman and Romancing Mr. Bridgerton by Julia Quinn (The Bridgertons, Books 3 & 4): I love, love, love the Bridgerton series and AOFaG is probably my favorite of the bunch. I love most of Julia Quinn's books and this series is arguably her best work.

Seven Secrets of Seduction by Anne Mallory: Nope, boring. And the writing was mediocre. And way too much page-time was spent on the lady protagonist. And the romantic relationship was not believable. And...I'm sure there was more. But that's quite enough.

Almost Heaven by Judith McNaught: This was probably the fourth time I've read this since I bought it (which was early this year). It's like crack or something. 

Isabella by Loretta Chase (The Trevelyan Family, Book 1): Short and sweet and perfectly romantic. Not racy like her later novels, but it's one of the books I re-read when I'm bored or feeling indecisive about what to read next.

I Love the Earl by Caroline Linden: I remember enjoying it, but that's pretty much it. That's not quite a ringing recommendation, is it?

Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie: I love this book SO MUCH, despite the overabundance of Chicken Marsala. The whole thing is funny and fun and sexy. If it wasn't for the length of the book, it would be another of my in-betweens.

Once a Princess by Johanna Lindsey (Cardinia Royal Family, Book 1): I honestly don't know why I keep reading Lindsey, the only novels of hers I've truly liked were Defy Not the Heart and The Heir. Since my library has all of her books available digitally, I think maybe I'm hoping to find another gem.

Vengeance in Death by J.D. Robb (In Death, Book 6): 27 books to go and I already want to hit myself with a hammer. (Romantic Suspense)

Visions of Heat by Nalini Singh (Psy-Changeling, Book 2): I had the same problem with this that I had with the first book. The writing is technically good and the premise is interesting, but I feel zero interest in the characters. ZERO. I may not bother with the rest of the series (thankfully each book is about different characters, so the compulsion to know everything is not there).  (Paranormal Romance)

Young Adult

So Silver Bright by Lisa Mantchev (Theatre Illuminata, Book 3): I loved Eyes Like Stars (Book 1). I liked Perchance to Dream (Book 2), but it was super weird. So Silver Bright was somewhere in between. A lot of it made no sense to me, but I was happy to be reading it. And the covers are extra-purdy. Made me nostalgic for my angsty-goth teen days (not really).

Fire by Kristin Cashore (The Seven Kingdoms, Book 2): I like this book, but I loved, loved, loved Graceling (Book 1). Fire is more of a prequel/companion novel and was different in tone from Graceling, but it was an interesting read. Definitely read Graceling first. Both books have independent lady-protagonists, a little romance and lots of intrigue. 

I read this (Sept 16-30, 2011)

Fantasy

The Raven Queen by Jules Watson:  It should have been super interesting but the story was so bogged down by little details that it was kind of a chore to read. The pacing was off too. Every time I started getting involved, the storyline would jump. I'll try another by this author, hopefully it'll be better. 

Clementine by Cherie Priest (The Clockwork Century, short story): I think I am done with this series. I liked Boneshaker but each successive book I've read has gotten more and more boring. And there were ZERO zombies in this one. Zombies would have made this more fun.

Emergence by David Palmer: I more-than-liked this but less-than-loved it. Go read it.

Urban Fantasy

Under Her Skin by Jeaniene Frost, Ilona Andrews and Meljean Brook: Actually, I enjoyed all of these stories, which is pretty rare for an anthology. Of the three, Brook's "A Sheep's Clothing" was the best. Andrews' "Grace of Small Magics" was also good, and I would like to read more in this setting. I've only read one other (short) story by Frost and "Pack" was fun but not quite engrossing (even for a short story). None of these take place in any of the authors' previously established universes. 

Hexed by Ilona Andrews, Yasmine Galenorn, Allyson James and Jeanne Stein: I only borrowed this for the Andrews story "Magic Dreams" set in the Kate Daniels universe. It's a side-story for Dali and Jim. Good fun. Reading "Ice Shards" by Galenorn was a real chore and I don't plan on trying anything else by her. I started "Double Hexed" by James, but I quit when one character called another character (I'm paraphrasing here) a "tranny mess" and no one said jack about it. I don't give a shit if it's an enchanted mirror or a dragon or what-the-fuck-ever, that's a fucked up thing to say. I was so pissed that I didn't even bother trying "Blood Debt" by Stein.

Young Adult

Un Lun Dun by China Mieville: Kind of a cross between Neverwhere by Gaiman and the Fern Gully movie. I happen to like those two things, so a good time was had by all (namely, me).

Stargirl and Love, Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli: A sweet coming-of-age story told in the first book by the dude-protagonist and continued by the lady-protagonist in the second. Both were really wonderful, but I felt kind of disappointed by the endings because even though they ended well, they didn't end where I wanted them to. 

Graphic Novel

Back on the Street by Warren Ellis (Transmetropolitan, Vol. 1): Uh, yeahno. I don't get the appeal. Also, Mr. Ellis, I am changing your name so I don't keep confusing you with Garth Ennis. Because I do this ALL THE TIME. 

Romance

Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean (The Ralstons, Book 1): Seriously, that is like THE WORST TITLE EVAR. It is trying way too hard. Anyway, this was a cute story, nothing extra-special. I had to look at the synopsis to remember what it was about but that's fine. I like fluff.

Turn It Up by Inez Kelley: Pretty sexy, friends-to-lovahs story. In this one, it's the dude-pro holding off on the sex to establish the relationship with the lady-pro, which is a nice change of pace, but I thought that the insistence on marriage (by the dude) was pretty harsh. He just told his lady-friend that he LOVE-loves her, as opposed to loves her and is pissed that she isn't on board 1-2-3? And the lady-pro's about-face on the baby-making was weird and unconvincing. I liked the book despite the issues. 

Deceived by Bertrice Small: Um, this was terrible, even for an old-skool romance. I haven't read anything by Bertrice Small before and this is probably going to be my only foray into her books.

The Many Sins of Lord Cameron by Jennifer Ashley (Highland Pleasures, Book 3): Yes, yes, yes.

When Venus Fell by Deborah Smith: A interesting story with a prickly-but-likable lady-pro. The romance doesn't really start until late in the book, but it was a very nice read over-all. 

A View to a Kiss by Caroline Linden (Bow Street Agents, Book 1): Good intrigue and nice tension between the lady/dude. The dude leads the lady on (not in the usual way) and that isn't so nice, but I really enjoyed reading this.

Ransom by Julie Garwood (Highland Lairds, Book 2): The writing was occasionally a bit flat, but the story itself and the romance was nice enough to overlook it.

Captive of Sin by Anna Campbell: A really dark, emotional romance. The lady-pro is escaping from an abusive family and the dude-pro has PTSD and they both have to deal with the effects of that. Unfortunately, I think that the ending really undermined the strength of the story. It felt rushed and unrealistic. 

Unlocked by Courtney Milan (The Turners, short story): A really lovely story with the dude-pro redeeming himself of previous asshole behavior and the lady-pro learning to stand up for herself. 

An Unwilling Bride b Jo Beverly (Company of Rogues, Book 2): I don't really know how I feel about this. It starts off well, but the (serious*) issues between the lady-pro and dude-pro are resolved too quickly and without any real consideration. The last quarter of the book took an unexpected and unbelievable turn that made me sort-of sorry I read any of it. (*There is a violent encounter between the dude and lady that was not cool, not at all.)

Moonspun Magic by Catherine Coulter (The Magic Trilogy, Book 3): Nope, terrible, stay away. Gross dude-pro, silly lady-pro, EVIL TWIN. The evil twin thing is why I picked this up, but blech, both twins were assholes. The whole point of evil-twin stories is that one is a GOOD GUY and one is a BAD GUY. Not "one is a super-asshole" and "one is a moderate-asshole".

Ceremony in Death by J.D. Robb (In Death, Book 5): Meh is about as much excitement as I can drum up. It wasn't awful, it wasn't great. It's easy to read, sort-of entertaining and over quickly. 

Erotic Romance


Switch by Megan Hart: Normally, I quite like Megan Hart's books but Switch isn't one of them. It rubbed me the wrong way (har, pun) on pretty much all counts. The lady-narrator is NOT A NICE PERSON. Which, whatever, I don't need to be best friends, but she was terrible to pretty much every other character in the book. And a mega-douche-bag liar. And the sex was boring. BORING. I didn't think Megan Hart was capable a writing a boring sex scene, but there it was. Go read Broken instead, it's both one of the hottest erotic romances I've ever read and one of the saddest books (period) I've ever read.

Paranormal Romance


Maiden Flight by Bianca D'Arc (Dragon Knights, Book 1): God, this was awful on pretty much every level it's possible to be awful on. Terrible writing, flat characterization, boring plot, unbelievable romance, rote sex scenes. I finished it but only because it was short. 

I read this (Sept 1-15, 2011)

I've decided to split my monthly reading list in twain since August's post was absurdly long and September's post was proving to be just the same. 

Fantasy

Sirens and Other Daemon Lovers, edited by Ellen Datlow and Terri Windling: It took me a month and a half to finish this anthology. The quality of stories was so uneven that I couldn't concentrate.  Even (especially?) the stories by authors I love were disappointing. 

Wolf Who Rules by Wen Spencer (Elfhome, Book 2): Tinker, the first book in the series, is written entirely from Tinker's third-person POV. This book includes Who Who Rules' POV, which added some dimension to the current story and the back-story. I enjoyed this book because it illuminated some of WWR's choices but Tinker's wishy-washiness only got MORE annoying.  Plus, the story turned unexpectedly metaphysical. 

Contemporary Fiction

Mesopotamia by Arthur Nersesian: Elvis impersonators, murder and mayhem make an entertaining story but the writing itself was kind of bland and the characterization was practically nonexistent. I don't regret reading this one but I definitely won't be reading anything else by this author.

Romance

Fairest of Them All by Teresa Medeiros: Like I said last month, Medeiros' writing is competent and her stories are fun, but the romance is sometimes less than believable. This particular story was occasionally over the top and the mystical aspect was irritating.  

Prisoner of My Desire by Johanna Lindsey: The setup was ten kinds of fucked up. The lady-protagonist has to rape the dude-protagonist (believe me, I WISH I was making this up) in order to keep her step-brother from killing her mother. When the dude-protagonist escapes, he finds the lady, kidnaps her and revenge-rapes her. Then they fall in love. WTF Johanna Lindsey, seriously WTF?

Bride of a Stranger by Jennifer Blake: Major snooze-fest with no sexy bits to make up for the boring plot. At least it was short. 

Talk Me Down by Victoria Dahl: A romance novel about an erotica author? Yes, please. I don't always like contemporaries, but I think Dahl is really great at them. The stories can seem a little superficial sometimes, but I like her characters a lot and I get the romance, you know? And the sexy business is hot.

Marrying the Marquis by Patricia Grasso (The Flambeau Sisters, Book 3): I was not expecting a romance with paranormal elements and I had to keep checking the synopsis to see if I had missed something. The story and writing were okay, I guess, but I was so thrown by the ESP junk that I just couldn't settle down to the book. 

Fire Dance by Delle Jacobs: This was a well written, absorbing story with only a few blips, but it just dragged on and on and on. I enjoyed reading it but it could have been 15% shorter (I have no idea how many pages it is, it's only available digitally). But you should try it, it's only .99 cents.

The Goodbye Summer by Patricia Gaffney: The main character was a bit floppy to start and was occasionally outshone by the secondary characters. The tone of the whole thing was a little melancholy and a little hopeful and very sweet. It was nice while it lasted but I kept waiting for something to happen and then... it was over. It isn't quite a romance novel but it isn't quite chick lit either. 

Lessons From a Scarlet Lady by Emma Wildes : Good writing, steamy love scenes, fun premise. I was sometimes more interested in the secondary love story, but overall, it was pretty much exactly what I want from a historical romance.

My Lord Scandal by Emma Wildes (Notorious Bachelors, Book 1): The intrigue keeping the main characters apart was a little oooh mysterious, but I enjoyed this as much as I did Scarlet Lady. 

The Texan's Touch by Jodi Thomas (Texas Brothers, Book 1): Um, what? The whole thing was way too coincidental. AND the writing was flat. This is the second Thomas book I've read and I just don't get the appeal. 

Urban Fantasy

Magic Slays by Ilona Andrews (Kate Daniels, Book 5): Fuck yes. I need say no more.

The Neon Graveyard by Vicki Pettersson (Signs of the Zodiac, Book 6): A lot of this book was spent whining about/rescuing the love interest and not quite enough time was devoted to the battle with the nemesis, but overall, I think this wrapped the series up well.  The series as a whole was fun, but Joanna was often unlikable and she never really seemed to learn to look before leaping. If you want UF with no vampires, this one is for you.

YA Fiction

Story of a Girl by Sara Zarr: I really don't know how I feel about this one. It's a coming-of-age story and it's a little uncomfortable and there is no concrete ending. But it's compelling and well written. I felt this way about Sweethearts too. 

I read this (August 2011)

I apologize about the length of this in advance. I may start doing this post bi-weekly to cut down on the wordiness.

Fantasy/Urban Fantasy

The Hidden Goddess by M.K. Hobson (The Native Star, Book 2): If you haven’t read The Native Star, don’t even bother with this, I read it only a few months ago and I was occasionally lost. However, you should definitely read these two. Magical alternate-history with some steam-punk flair. Awesome and weird.

Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between by J.A. Saare (Rhiannon’s Law, Book 1): A middle-of-the-road necromancer/vampire pair-up. Not an original spin but decently written. It’s indie-published so it’s cheap and that’s probably the standard by which I am judging it (it was only .99 when I bought it). I’ll get around to the recently-released sequel, but it barely ranks on my list of priorities.

Magic Burns, Magic Strikes, and Magic Bleeds by Ilona Andrews (Kate Daniels, Books 2-4): Yes, go read these right now. No, really, RIGHT NOW.

Historical Fiction

Settling the Account and A Second Chance by Shayne Parkinson (Promises to Keep, Books 3 & 4): The four books follow a group of people living in New Zealand in the late 1800’s to early 1900’s. The story is well written and interesting but there is so much of it (3 of the books top out at 500+ pages) and there isn’t really a plot. The story managed to be engaging despite the almost ridiculous amount of every-day minutiae included but it is a serious time investment.

Romance

The Madness of Lord Ian Mackensie by Jennifer Ashley (Highland Pleasures, Book 1): Ms. Ashley writes some seriously hot, beautiful romances. Instant-lust-that-is-really-love gets the story started, but watching the characters move toward each other is incredibly rewarding. The second novel in the series is Lady Isabella’s Scandalous Marriage and the third is The Many Sins of Lord Cameron (I sure do love romance novel titles, barf). This series tends toward dark and the issues the characters deal are heavy so if you prefer romances that are fluffy, this probably won't appeal.

My Darling Caroline by Adele Ashworth: Nothing about this worked for me. The language was too modern, the lady-protagonist was too perfect, the dude-protagonist was annoying. Doubt I’ll be reading anything else by this author.

Last Night’s Scandal by Loretta Chase (The Carsington Family, Book 5): I have said before that I love this book. I LOVE THIS BOOK. 

Fast Women by Jennifer Crusie: I wanted to love this book, it’s all noir-ish, but the lady-protagonist rubbed me the wrong way. I generally like strong, assertive women (both in books and IRL), but I just couldn’t get behind Nell. Also, I didn’t believe that the lady/dude relationship would last. I am extra sad because I love Jenny Crusie so much.

The Care and Taming of a Rogue, A Lady’s Guide to Improper Behavior, and Rules of an Engagement by Suzanne Enoch (The Adventurer’s Club, Books 1-3): Solidly written, enough suspense to be engaging, believable romance. The lady-protagonists were all remarkably similar, but maybe you wouldn’t notice if you didn’t read them consecutively?

Passions of a Wicked Earl by Lorraine Heath (London’s Greatest Lovers, Book 1): I liked this one because of the emotional journey the characters take. The lady-protagonist starts as a bit of an ingénue, the dude-protagonist starts as an unemotional, uncompromising douche-wad, but they have some decent growth throughout the story. The writing was occasionally a little flat, and the end was frankly wtf but overall, a nice way to pass the afternoon.

What a Gentleman Wants by Caroline Linden (The Reece Family, Book 1): The setup was really far-fetched and the suspense aspect felt a little forced, but I liked the lady/dude combo enough to ignore the shortcomings. Caution: Plot Moppet.

For Your Arms Only by Caroline Linden (Bow St. Agents, Book 2): Too much emphasis on the intrigue, not enough on the romance. Snooze-fest.

Defy Not the Heart and Joining by Johanna Lindsey (Shefford’s Knights, Books 1 & 2): SBTB had posted about which Johanna Lindsey novels a person would recommend for someone unfamiliar with Lindsey. A popular recommendation was Gentle Rogue, part of the Malory series, and one I didn’t like (flat characterization but I may revisit it anyway). The only other Lindsey I had read was Silver Angel which is full of some amazing wtfery. But I REALLY liked Defy Not the Heart. It’s got most of the orly? that old skool romances have but without the rape. Joining is basically the same book, 15 years later. Head strong, unconventional lady-pro, over-bearing but good-at-heart dude-pro, heads clash, true love, blah blah blah. Fun the first time, less so the second.

The Heir by Johanna Lindsey (The Reid Family, Book 1): Sweet and believable romance between the lady-pro and dude-pro. I do like how the villainess gets both her comeuppance and a bit of sympathy but I wish that the women were more than just character foils to show how awesome the lady-pro is.

Lady of Conquest, Thief of Hearts, A Kiss to Remember, and The Bride and the Beast by Teresa Medeiros: I keep running into the same trouble with Medeiros, the stories are competently written and the arcs are fun if not always original, but I rarely buy the relationship between the lady-protagonist and the dude-protagonist. Of the four, I liked Thief of Hearts best.

The Dangerous Viscount by Miranda Neville (The Burgundy Club, Book 2): Again, good writing and good storytelling, but I didn’t always believe the lady/dude relationship. And both the lady and the dude were kind of shitty people. The first book, The Wild Marquis, was better.

Nobody’s Baby but Mine by Susan Elizabeth Phillips: Fuck no, this book is horrible. Besides bad writing, the characters are shitty people doing really shitty things to each other. And did I mention bad writing? STAY AWAY.

The Bargain by Mary Jo Putney: A lot of perspective hopping and the premise is morbid, but it’s decent. Not great but better than average.

Not Quite a Husband by Sherry Thomas: Really well written and a really wonderful emotional connection between the two protagonists. And the way the story unfolded and revealed the character motivations was lovely. Read this now. There is a related book, Delicious, which I haven’t yet read but it’s on my short list.

Glory in Death, Immortal in Death, Rapture in Death by J.D. Robb (In Death, Books 2-4): I said last month that I understand the appeal of these and that’s still true. But if you are going to read this series, do NOT read them in rapid succession. It makes it more apparent that it is the same story over and over again. Formula is thus: Somebody dies, Eve Dallas goes on the case, she has lots of sex with Roarke, she meets someone new who is not actually a suspect, investigation, emotional breakthrough, aforementioned new person is the murderer. Dum dum dum. The fifth book steps away from that, but I’m sure book six will snap right back. I’m probably going to keep reading these for awhile, but my interest is already starting to wane and I’m betting that by the time I hit book 15, I’ll be raging about how much I hate these books.

Mad, Bad, and Blonde by Cathie Linz (West Investigations, Book 1): DNF. I got a quarter through the book before I couldn’t take anymore.

YA Fantasy

A Great and Terrible Beauty, Rebel Angels, and The Sweet Far Thing by Libba Bray (The Gemma Doyle Trilogy): DNF. I struggled to finish books one and two. I COULD NOT make myself finish the last book. I tried to but I hated the narrator and all her friends and they made such ridiculous decisions and ARGH, what a waste of time. I wanted to like it because the narrator and her friends are struggling against a really prohibitive era (Victorian) for women and pushing against the status quo and taking power into their own hands (magically speaking, mostly) but they were so un-likeable that I wanted to shake them until their heads fell off.


ETA: Deleted post by accident, my bad

I read this (part II)

... continued from here.

So, like I was saying. Sookie Stackhouse! Good christ. These books are to literature what Pop Rocks are to dental hygiene. I actually tried reading these a couple of years ago (pre-Anita Blake, you know) and I got through one chapter before throwing the book in disgust. So that shows you that my tolerance for terrible writing has absolutely skyrocketed in my post-LKH world of shattered dreams and disillusionment. Oh, and sorry, Connie, for throwing your book that one time.

If you are like me and watch/ed True Blood before reading the books, then apparently you are a sane person and will be OK with the absurd amount of license Alan Ball takes with both the characters and the story. If you read the books first, you apparently hate True Blood and want Alan Ball to die in a fire. I mean, I get it – people always like the book more. It’s just a thing. You feel all warm and snuggly with these fake people who live in your head, and get all jacked up when someone goes and interprets them differently (WRONGLY) than you did. That’s cool, bro. No judgment.

BUT. I have to take a teeny moment to defend Mr. Ball, here. These fucking books are awful, you guys. It’s not like taking a piss on the Mona Lisa, OK? It’s a dude taking some rough source material, putting it in a Dior dress and sending it to fashion week. Or something. I apologize for the surplus of hazardously misshapen metaphors that are flying around here (idkwtf). Really, he’s just doing his thing. And while I think this past season was a clusterfuck of proportions like I don’t even know, it was STILL better than the last five books of the series all smooshed together. Because while the first 2/3 of the series is not exactly brain food, the last 1/3 is basically Charlaine Harris going to her fans HEY GUYS! WHAT’S UP! GO FUCK YOURSELVES, HOW BOUT IT! YEAH! YOU’RE A BUNCH OF ASSHOLES AND PS I KILLED YOUR GRANDPARENTS WHILE YOU WERE AT THE 7-11 GETTING A TAQUITO! HAHA! I’M AWESOME.

I was going to talk about how the show and the book series are different, but I started and? It would take me days. DAYS. They are different. Very, very different. Lafayette is dead by the second chapter of Book 2, for example. Jason turns into a halfass werepanther. Arlene joins the Fellowship Of The Sun – Jason does not. Arlene does not have Rene’s devil-possessed baby. Sookie kills Lorena. There is no Jessica. The Nevada king forcefully takes over LA and kills Sophie-Anne Leclerq, not Bill Compton (who is like whiny, and a big computer nerd). Tara is married, and has babies. And is white. Pam is British! And wears twin sets! SO MUCH ETC.

Anyway, should you read them?

Um? You know. Go ahead, if you want. They’re not good by any stroke of the imagination, but they’re fun, and quick. The series does go to shit around Book 8, but not in any shake-your-fist-and-cry-foul way. I mean, I was never invested enough to feel betrayed. I just sort of looked at it like “Oh … that was a pretty fucked up thing to do, author. You must not have much integrity. Oh wait. You wrote the Sookie Stackhouse books. Right. No worries. Moving along!”

I read this [...summerish? 2011]

I know I owe you an Anita Blake recap. Blue Moon, I think. If memory serves, it's full of rape and torture, which ... pleasant! And it takes place in some dumb state that shouldn't exist but does ... Tennessee, maybe? Oh, and there are demons. Rapey, murderous demons. Whatever. The book sucked, because they all sucked, and if you don't know that by now, god help you.

While you're waiting for me to get to that -- with bated breath, amirite? -- here is what I've managed to plow through in the 12 minutes of down time I've had since July. Or, as I am referring to my life now, PAS (post-Atlas-Shrugged).

The Complete Works Of HP Lovecraft - self-explanatory? You either like that shit or you don't. I needed a refresher, and that mofo is $0.99 for Kindle. How do you not buy that? It is full of gibbous moons and fish people and insanity and words with way too many consonants. In other words, everything cool. This will especially speak to you if you are a 15 year old goth. Are there even teenage goths anymore? Is that still a thing? Fuck, I'm old.

The Hungers Games series  [Suzanne Collins]

•  The Hunger Games - Jae already reviewed this. IT IS AMAZING. Seriously, go fucking buy this book right now. If you are poor and have a kindle, email us for gods sake, we will totally loan it to you.
•  Catching Fire (Book 2) - If you read the first one, you will, no duh, have to read the sequel. This is very much an in-between book. Like Pirates Of The Caribbean 2? It would probably make no sense out of context. But it's good - the characters get developed, and while the first one is STORY STORY STORY this one gives you time and room to actually form attachments and opinions to these crazy fucking kids.
•  The Mockingjay (Book 3) - This one is full of WTF. And bombs. It is full of WTF and bombs. I basically hated the heroine halfway through this, and sort of stuck with the opinion. It was a good hate, though! I didn't want to stop reading about her, I just wanted to kill her with knives while doing it. This sentiment is probably all me. I guess she's likable? And her actions/decisions make sense? But fuck her, seriously. I think I just hate teenagers and all the stupid teenage shit they do. ALSO, as I told Jae: the hero [one of them] is named Peeta, and I seriously couldn't read his name without thinking of some Brooklyn mafioso "yo dis is Petah" Type O Negative thing, and I giggled the whole time. 

The Southern Vampire Mysteries  [Charlaine Harris]

Oh my god, you guys. This is Anita Blake Lite. Like, I'm not consumed by skull-crushing rage reading these, but I feel almost as filthy and definitely as dumb. Also, I've been watching True Blood since it started, so I have a definitely soft spot for all of these ridiculously attractive characters. 

To be continued! Here is a picture of Alex Skarsgard to hold you over.

Read PART II 

I read this (July 2011)

I managed to find time to read a ton of romance novels last month. I was pissed about my Kindle breaking and for me, when I’m in a funk, a romance novel is the perfect pick-me-up. If the book is well written and there is a believable connection between the main protagonists, I’m a happy camper. I like the ones with a little tension, but the fluffy ones are great too. (I won’t necessarily remember a romance that is merely fluffy but I love the hell out of them while I’m reading them.)

Romance

The Princess in His Bed by Lila DiPasqua (Fiery Tales, Book 1): A collection of 3 short stories loosely based on classic folktales. Not bad, not great, these are more erotic than romantic. It’s a quick read, so if you have an hour to spare, sure.

The Dom’s Dungeon by Cherise Sinclair: Holy shit. This one is BDSM erotic romance, with lots and lots (and lots) of hot, kinky sex. There is an actual story, with relatable characters, and it is pretty well written. I’ve read just about everything Ms. Sinclair has written and loved all of it. Read this if you like graphic, kinky romance.

The Doms of Dark Haven by Cherise Sinclair, Belinda McBride and Sierra Cartwright: I borrowed this for the Sinclair story, which was fun. The McBride story was decent, but as it was a shifter romance, it was a little unexpected. I remember being vaguely irritated by the Cartwright story, but that’s it. Don’t bother with this one.

Slave to Sensation by Nalini Singh (Psy-Changeling, Book 1): Paranormal romance, interesting premise, but the execution was bland. I’m waiting for the next book to come in from the library, but mostly because I am trying to figure out why this series is so popular. The 10^th book was just released, so clearly Ms. Singh is doing something right. I say don’t bother, but I am in the minority.

Silk is For Seduction, by Loretta Chase (The Dressmakers, Book 1): I love the shit out of Loretta Chase (see below) and I was super excited for Silk is For Seduction to be released. It was good, but the whole book had such a frenetic tone and the characters seemed so desperate for each other (I don’t know how else to describe it) that I felt kind of uncomfortable? This makes me sad. Read it, why not, but if you are a Loretta Chase fan, I will warn that it isn’t quite to her usual standard.

Lord Perfect, by Loretta Chase (The Carsington Family, Book 3): Yesohyes. I love this book and I re-read it every few months. I love the whole series, actually. Mr. Impossible is my favorite, Last Night’s Scandal is a close second, and Lord Perfect is third. Miss Wonderful and Not Quite a Lady are great, but not-as-great. READ ALL OF THEM ANYWAY.

Ravishing in Red, by Madeline Hunter (The Rarest Blooms, Book 1): Meh, forced marriage, irresistible lust, blah blah blah. I kept putting it down for something else. I just didn’t believe the relationship between the protagonists. I probably won’t bother with the next book. You shouldn’t either.

The Spare by Carolyn Jewel: Actually, I would have said yes, but the ending was something awful. And the paranormal bit was unnecessary. So, no.

Tempt Me at Twilight, Married by Morning, and Love in the Afternoon by Lisa Kleypas (The Hathaways, Books 3, 4, & 5): Yes, no and YES. Tempt Me at Twilight was typical Kleypas, wonderfully readable and sexy. I didn’t like Married by Morning because the characters took such an about-face from the previous books. And I loved Love in the Afternoon because I am a sucker for falling-in-love-by-letter stories.

Devil’s Desire by Laurie McBain: God, no. This was terrible. The writing was execrable, the relationship was unbelievable, and the heroine went from consuming hatred to devastating love in THREE paragraphs. This was her first book and it shows. Wild Bells to the Wild Sky was much better.

Beautiful Disaster by Jamie McGuire: Ehhh, I don’t know. It was decently written but the relationship between the protagonists was borderline abusive, manipulative and co-dependent and it made me uncomfortable. Also, the resolution seemed like a throwaway “Here’s your happily-ever-after, now shut up” and if these were real people, I would bet on divorce in 2 years. But sure, read it. Whatever.

Something Wonderful and Once and Always by Judith McNaught: Re-reads. ‘Nuff said.

Charming the Prince by Teresa Medeiros (Fairy Tales, Book 1): Fun and sweet with just enough emotional tension to keep it from being boring. Why not?

Attachments by Rainbow Rowell: Yes, do. See here for why.

Pieces of Sky by Kaki Warner (The Blood Rose Trilogy, Book 1): I liked it quite a bit but it was a teensy bit too long. Also, there was a caricature villain. I hate those. But the story was nice enough to warrant a read.

Naked in Death by J.D. Robb (In Death, Book 1): Okay, so Nora Roberts/J.D. Robb is absurdly ubiquitous. This series is still going strong (some 38 books later) and I can understand the appeal. It’s fast paced with an appealing lady-protagonist and a sexy dude-protagonist. The writing style is pretty simple and straightforward but I think that’s why it’s so popular. It’s easy to read but complex enough to be interesting.

Fantasy/Urban Fantasy

Heartless by Gail Carriger (The Parasol Protectorate, Book the Fourth): Good grief, these books are just terribly clever and funny. This one isn’t quite as good as Soulless (Book the First) but still a fun read. What I love most is that these books don’t take themselves too seriously. And the steampunk accents make me green with envy. I would very much like to travel by dirigible. Read this, but make sure to read the first 3 books or you will be hopelessly lost.

The Children’s Hospital by Chris Adrian: Fuck you very much. That is all.

The Anvil of the World by Kage Baker: It had a slow start and the pace didn’t really pick up until halfway through the book, but overall it was a fun, funny, engaging read. I will definitely be picking up more by Kage Baker. May not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I think it’s worth reading.

Something Rotten by Jasper Fforde (Thursday Next, Book 4): A more cohesive plot than The Well of Lost Plots but a slightly less fun read. As a whole, another great addition to the Thursday Next series. Read this for sure.

YA Fantasy

Rose Daughter and Beauty by Robin McKinley: Beauty and the Beast is one of my favorite fairy tales (no really, I watch the Disney movie ALL THE TIME.) Both Rose Daughter and Beauty are re-tellings of this story. I enjoyed reading Beauty more because the story arc made more sense and adhered more closely to the traditional style. I liked how in-depth Rose Daughter was but thought it got a little too metaphysical towards the end. Both are worth reading. Just maybe not within 2 weeks of each other?

Hourglass by Myra McEntire (The Hourglass, Book 1): Interesting premise, a likeable teen-lady-protagonist, smooth writing, but honestly, someone should revoke my nerd card, because time travel makes no sense to me. This is a debut novel and is plenty impressive, but ends on an annoying cliffhanger. I like it despite that. So, yes, read it. (This was just released, be prepared for a loooong wait for the sequel.)

I read this (June 2011)

Sorry about the dearth of reviews. My Kindle broke and I've been busy transferring everything to the new one. I have been reading but a lot of it has been middle-of-the-road, good-enough-but-not-great. And it's been 90+ degrees here and my brain is melting out of my ears. I'll get around to something sometime.

I don't know why I'm always surprised by how many romance novels I read, but apparently I read 16 of them. That seems like a lot. It always seems like a lot.

Young Adult

Impulse by Ellen Hopkins and Glimpse by Carol Lynch Williams: These 2 books are phenomenal. Both are written in free verse and deal unflinchingly with pretty dark subjects (suicide attempts and sexual abuse). I recommend but be forewarned.

The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, and Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games Trilogy): I LOVE THE HELL OUT OF THESE BOOKS. Yes, that noise you hear is a fangirl squeeing. Here's the review for the first book, I will post reviews of the other 2 soonish.

The Adoration of Jenna Fox by Mary E. Pearson: Solid writing, intriguing premise, but missing something? I don't know, I was a little unsatisfied by the ending. I'll read the followup when it's released, maybe that will help with the ambivalence. Readable? Sure.

Urban Fantasy

Goddess of the Sea by P.C. Cast: NO! I am so sad because mermaids, I love them. And this book was terrible. The writing was so bland, it was the literary equivalent of microwave oatmeal (the plain stuff, no apples, no cinnamon, no maple flavoring here). I skimmed the entire middle third of the book. Actually, I skimmed over so much, I practically didn't read it at all. It's the first of a series, I don't know why you would care.

War for the Oaks by Emma Bull: Oddly enough, Dani and I were reading this at roughly the same time. It was good, especially for a first novel. Not much in the way of world-building, the writing is occasionally inconsistent, but over-all, it was fun. Read it or not, whatever.

Burnt Offerings by Laurell K. Hamilton (AB:VH, Book 7): God no. You should love yourself more than that.

Magic Bites by Ilona Andrews (Kate Daniels, Book 1): I've only read this first book, but it seems to land pretty solidly between Mercy Thompson (whom I love) and Anita Blake (see above). The heroine is mostly likable, but she is super-special. However, her extra-special-snowflake status is alluded to several times and is not just because... something. I'm withholding full judgment until after I've read the next book. I will say that I am cautiously optimistic.

The Well of Lost Plots by Jasper Fforde (Thursday Next, Book 3): So I loved the first book. I loved the second book. I only liked this one (a lot), which is odd because I liked the premise of this book the most. I like alternate universe theories and I LOVE books, so the idea of an alternate universe existing within books should be magic. But I thought this was a little whuh?. Don't even bother if you haven't read the first 2 in the series. (It's not actually UF, I have no idea how to categorize it.)

Romance

Indiscreet by Caroline Jewel: Sweet, a little melancholy, utterly enjoyable. Read this one.

Unveiled by Courtney Milan (The Turners, Book 1): The premise is improbable, but it was fun to read. Watching the heroine grow a backbone was especially gratifying. Read it, why not.

Proof by Seduction and Trial by Desire by Courtney Milan (The Blakeleys, Books 1 & 2): I enjoyed them, but meh? I liked the 2nd one better but I could take or leave either one.

The Charm School by Susan Wiggs (The Calhouns, Book 1): An ugly heroine in a romance novel? Sign me up. I'll probably read the 2nd book, I like stories of redemption.

Mine Till Midnight and Seduce Me at Sunrise by Lisa Kleypas (The Hathways, Books 1 & 2): Okay, so I love Lisa Kleypas. Even though she uses the word "voluptuous" inappropriately and far too often. I've read nearly all of her books. More than once. A lot more than once. YOU SHOULD READ ALL OF THEM TOO.

The Golden Season by Connie Brockway: Yep, read it. Good character growth, believable romance.

My One and Only by Kristan Higgins: Actually, I would like to recommend this but I don't think the resolution was believable. It kind of soured the whole thing for me.

The Indiscretion and Beast by Judith Ivory: Nope for the first and yep for the second. The Indiscretion was just not cohesive. Plot threads kept being introduced and then nothing. And I rarely feel guilty for liking books, but Beast is definitely on that list. It's problematic on so many levels and the ending was so rushed, but still. Le sigh.

A Little Bit Wild by Victoria Dahl (The Yorks, Book 1): Nope, no, sorry, the heroine was so spoiled that I couldn't care about anything she did. I finished it but only because it was short.

The Wild Marquis by Miranda Neville: I'm going to say yes here. Not just because the heroine was a rare book dealer.

Just Like Heaven by Julia Quinn: Fluffy and light-hearted. It's readable and fun, but actually, I had to read the synopsis at Amazon to remember what it was about.

The Spymaster's Lady by Joanna Bourne (Spymasters, Book 1): Really well-written, strong characterization, lots of intrigue, but it went on and on and on. If it had been even 50 pages shorter, I would recommend it unreservedly.

Impostress by Lisa Jackson: NO. No, no, no. Although, honestly, I went into this knowing it was going to be bad. It was a HABO at SBTB and sounded so ludicrous that I had to read it. I regret this. I skimmed this one too.

Believe by Victoria Alexander: I couldn't make myself finish this. IT WAS SO TERRIBLE. I have no idea why I even wanted to read it.

Graphic Novels

The Great Fables Crossover and Witches by Bill Willingham, (Fables, Volumes 13 & 14): I loved this series wholeheartedly until War and Pieces (Volume 11). I actively hated The Dark Ages (Volume 12) and I seriously disliked Crossover, and barely tolerated Witches. Once the major story arc was resolved in W&P, the stories stopped making sense. If you only read until Vol. 11, you'll be in good shape.