Friday, September 23, 2011

I read this [...summerish? 2011]

I know I owe you an Anita Blake recap. Blue Moon, I think. If memory serves, it's full of rape and torture, which ... pleasant! And it takes place in some dumb state that shouldn't exist but does ... Tennessee, maybe? Oh, and there are demons. Rapey, murderous demons. Whatever. The book sucked, because they all sucked, and if you don't know that by now, god help you.

While you're waiting for me to get to that -- with bated breath, amirite? -- here is what I've managed to plow through in the 12 minutes of down time I've had since July. Or, as I am referring to my life now, PAS (post-Atlas-Shrugged).

The Complete Works Of HP Lovecraft - self-explanatory? You either like that shit or you don't. I needed a refresher, and that mofo is $0.99 for Kindle. How do you not buy that? It is full of gibbous moons and fish people and insanity and words with way too many consonants. In other words, everything cool. This will especially speak to you if you are a 15 year old goth. Are there even teenage goths anymore? Is that still a thing? Fuck, I'm old.

The Hungers Games series  [Suzanne Collins]

  •  The Hunger Games - Jae already reviewed this. IT IS AMAZING. Seriously, go fucking buy this book right now. If you are poor and have a kindle, email us for gods sake, we will totally loan it to you.
  •  Catching Fire (Book 2) - If you read the first one, you will, no duh, have to read the sequel. This is very much an in-between book. Like Pirates Of The Caribbean 2? It would probably make no sense out of context. But it's good - the characters get developed, and while the first one is STORY STORY STORY this one gives you time and room to actually form attachments and opinions to these crazy fucking kids.
  •  The Mockingjay (Book 3) - This one is full of WTF. And bombs. It is full of WTF and bombs. I basically hated the heroine halfway through this, and sort of stuck with the opinion. It was a good hate, though! I didn't want to stop reading about her, I just wanted to kill her with knives while doing it. This sentiment is probably all me. I guess she's likable? And her actions/decisions make sense? But fuck her, seriously. I think I just hate teenagers and all the stupid teenage shit they do. ALSO, as I told Jae: the hero [one of them] is named Peeta, and I seriously couldn't read his name without thinking of some Brooklyn mafioso "yo dis is Petah" Type O Negative thing, and I giggled the whole time. 

The Southern Vampire Mysteries  [Charlaine Harris]

Oh my god, you guys. This is Anita Blake Lite. Like, I'm not consumed by skull-crushing rage reading these, but I feel almost as filthy and definitely as dumb. Also, I've been watching True Blood since it started, so I have a definitely soft spot for all of these ridiculously attractive characters. 

To be continued! Here is a picture of Alex Skarsgard to hold you over.


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