Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Tuesday email chain

Dani: I started the review for Laughing Corpse, but was focusing on my magnum opus, which is a kind of general overview of why I love/hate this series as a whole, thus far. It’s kind of turning into an angry manifesto, but I’m just letting it go where it needs to.

I think after I finish Obsidian Butterfly, I am going to take a break from her. I’m starting to lose my shit. I swear when I read the sentence “there is not much they can do to chicken to make it uneatable” I almost broke the Kindle in half.

Janet: But Obsidian Butterfly is where it starts getting ultra. Ultra what, I don't know, but it's certainly spectacular. I'm with you on the magnum opus though. It's harder to think about the books separately than in aggregate. Like, GP isn't HORRIBLE but it sure as shit ain't good. But knowing what's coming actually makes the beginning of the series seem like a paragon of good taste and superior storytelling. (Now I will be looking out for "uneatable chicken" HOW DO I NOT REMEMBER THIS?) I don't know how I actually feel about it anymore.

Dani: She uses “eatable” or “un-“ at LEAST three times that I can remember. It’s UNBEARABLE, JANET.

I thought the one right before O.B. (I don’t even remember the names anymore, honestly, they just blend) was where it got ultra. I was seriously saying WHAT THE FUCK like every 10 minutes. With the leopards! And the sex healing! And the TRIUM-FUCKING-VIRATE (you did not lie – I now hate that word) My cats were terrified of me. It gets worse than this? I will die.
I’m with you on the earlier books, and I’m not even half way through. Re-skimming LC is like breath of … I won’t say fresh air, but less fetid air. Hey, remember when the main character made sense, kind of? Good times.

Janet: I feel like I really need to check it out from the library. Just to make sure. Because I ran across some weird grammar in GP that make me go "wha?". So I kind of keep hoping that it's just the formatting on the copies I have, but I know when I checked out "Divine Misdemeanors" (from the Merry Gentry series) I was kind of floored by the HORRIBLE HORRIBLE editing. Does it really start before OB? I thought it was the book after. But the LEOPARDS!! OMG. JUST FUCKING WAIT until she gets to the rest of the goddamn zoo. (I will say that I love Nathaniel later in the series)

Dani: I have just gotten to the jaguars, and I was so resigned that all I could do was be like … of course, jaguars, OF COURSE. OB is almost dull thus far in the WTF department, which would be relieving if it weren’t for the grammar/spelling problems that are making me rage.

Nathaniel is … (one of) the little submissive leopard people, yeah? I am honestly losing track. There were so many ridiculous tertiary characters in the last book -- all with equally stupid names -- that I have pretty much given up on trying to differentiate.

Janet: Yeah, Nathaniel is a submissive leopard (and writing that sentence made my head explode) but later in the books, I don't know why, I LOVE him. It might be the pearls. I know a lot of AB fans loathe him, but he makes my insides go "SQUEEEE". But, ugh, leopards. Then pandas, penguins, and Thompson's gazelles. This is a joke, but there are swans, so why the fuck not a penguin?

Dani: Submissive Leopard = my new band name. Seriously, I’m crying. AND I want to be a were-penguin.

THE SWAN GUY. OMG I FORGOT ABOUT HIM. Um. Another stupid name. Um. I want to say, like, Rochester, but that is not it.

Kaspar. It’s Kaspar. I fucking Googled “wereswan” and got this page:

Someone wrote that! Someone! Sat! Down! And! Wrote! That! (facepalm)


I've glanced at the AB wiki but there is a separate wiki just for the were's?  THAT'S AMAZING. Although, I would not be surprised if it was LKH. 

I'm pretty sure that LKH is a BDSM'er (actually this is complete conjecture and based on zero facts whatsoever) and maybe she thinks that these weird ultra-german names make everything sound like black leather. Kaspar. Dolph. BERT. If I could type a german accent I would.

Can you imagine a werepenguin? How awesome would that be? Make Joe draw one. And then we can get tattoos.

Dude, I have so many ideas about LKH that are all complete conjecture but I’m absolutely convinced are true. Her being into BDSM is the kindest of all of them. And you know she’s a bottom but totally wants to be a top. I want to have a cocktail with her. I might have to slap her once to get it out of my system, but I really just want to sit down with her and be like WHAT THE FUCK WITH YOU, LADY.

All of her crazy/dumb exotic names are like … the kind you can’t say without either having GUSTO or, are German. Like OLAF! I have recently been introduced to Olaf and I hate both his name and her development of his character more than anything.

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